Page 267 - NIXBOOK

Some years I met no dead people, but my annual average was one or two. One year though there were a half-dozen dead folks
found during the times I was on duty: two old people - one in a bed, one on a floor - two middle aged people - one in a boat, one
in a motorhome - and two young people - one accidental overdose and one suicide in a college bathroom.

High school kid’s video camera tape recording (yes, actual video camera with magnetic tape cassette) was seized by the school
principal because reasons. On the tape were a series of jackass-style stunts, to include emptying recycle bins full of bottles out
in roadways, and jumping into a swimming pool while on fire. The prosecutor couldn’t file any charges on either because there
was no identified victims, which really upset me. Also on the tape: the kid went to a grocery store late at night, bought some
things and then had his friend tape him eating hot peppers, and drinking (almost) an entire gallon of milk. The store’s night
manager kicked them both out of the store just in time; the kid made it to the parking lot and then puked up 3.5 quarts of milk.

Homeowner reported burglar(s) had broken into her house while she was gone for the weekend. I showed up and we found
nothing missing. Entry was through a window. The burglar(s?) had cleaned up all the broken glass and put it in the garbage,
which was certainly a little unusual. Oh, the suspect(s) had also slept in her bed. And then cleaned the linens in the washing
machine. That was not my first head-scratching bizarre case like that.

Auto parts store manager had caught an embezzling employee during an audit. Employee was confronted and admitted
pocketing several hundred dollars in customer return refunds. The regional manager wanted a police report filed so the fired
employee would get charged with a crime. I knew the jail would not hold him more than few hours; not worth my time or effort
to drive him there. But I figured it would be good if somebody in his family knew he’d been a bad boy, so I made him call his
wife and self-report himself to her. Which he did. Witnessing that part was equal parts sad, and rewarding. Then I released him.