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I’ve also arrested a lot of folks who got a variation of this line from me: “You know, I think I‘ve caught you now more times than
I caught and arrested your father.”

Me: “Good morning, I’m recording this on my camera, the reason why I pulled you over is you’re not wearing your seatbelt.”
Driver: “I just got a ticket for that last week! Here, I’ll show it to you!”

Me, opening a shed door at night and finding my client; he’s on the phone talking to the 911 dispatcher, who is trying to keep
him from killing himself. Dude is standing on a stepladder and he’s got a noose snug around his neck; the other end is tied tight
on to a beam above his head. I quickly grab onto his legs to keep him from doing anything regrettable and the other officer with
me got out his knife and he cut the rope between the beam and his neck.

Crazy woman was swearing like mad into a public pay phone. (Back in the days when we had pay phones.) I arrested her for
disorderly conduct. The city prosecutor filed a charge against her, and the public defender took it to trial. Public defender got
the charge dismissed when he established that no other citizens aside from me had been subjected to her profanity…so therefore
there was in fact no crime. Because police officers are can’t be offended by language like that. She later wound up killing herself,
because her life was a wreck. She and her outlaw husband had spawned two boys who later grew up to amass over a hundred
criminal charges between just the two of them before one died of an overdose a week after getting out of prison. Between all
four of those idiots, I had about ten arrests on them myself.