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Me, booking a client into the jail for a serious criminal offense. Jail intake staff refused to accept him though because he had a
nasty-looking infection on his foot. They directed me to take him to the hospital for clearance first. So I had to take the guy to
the ER where I learned that if a police officer brings in a patient who is wearing handcuffs, that does not qualify in any way for
head of the line privileges. I had to wait for about 90 minutes before a doctor would see him…another hour to get looked at,
medication prescribed, then discharged…then back to the jail finally, hours behind schedule. I hated it when that happened.

Woman stole a purse and used the victim’s credit cards to buy some swag from JC Penny at the mall. I went to JC Penny and
talked to the security officer who told me that she had the suspect on video, but she could not share the video with me because
JC Penny valued the privacy of their patrons. The only way to see the video would be with a search warrant. Which is much
easier to say than do. So I told the security officer that the suspect had also stolen the victim’s car keys and it would great to see
the video of suspect; she might be identifiable by the video alone and we could catch her before the car got stolen. Security
guard explained she would get fired for violating the company policy, so…no video. Later that day, the victims’ car was indeed
then stolen. I wrote a scathing email to the JC Penny security guard – not mad at her, but directed to the corporate office. She
forwarded it up to her supervisors and the next day she got back to me. My letter had been pretty persuasive and it convinced
the decision makers at corporate somewhere that withholding video that the police need was probably not the best policy; from
then on their rule about having to get a search warrant first was thrown out. So that’s how progress is made, sometimes.

Lady came to the police department counter and reported her dentist was up to no good; she showed me the posts he had
screwed into her jaw, to add some fake teeth to. She said those posts were definitely receivers that were picking up the secret
radio waves that were broadcasting the voices into her head. She also said the that Secretary of Defense had given her a highly
classified microdot of microfilm for safekeeping; she had it stashed in her sewing machine. Oh and also her father was (secretly
of course) JFK. I wanted to ask her if her mother was Marilyn Monroe but she then abruptly left before I could ask questions.