Page 106 - NIXBOOK

I was in my driveway, on a day off, making a cage/partition for my K9 partner so he could ride in the back seat. Step one: unbolt
and remove the 2/3 split back bench seat. Leave the right hand side 1/3 seat in place; that will be prisoner seating. Step two: test
fit the custom made (by me) vertical partition to separate the K9 from the prisoner seating. How much room should there be
between the seat and the new wall? I wondered. Best way to tell, sit in there and see how much space is available. And then, like
an idiot, I closed the door to really see how much room there was. Forgetting the part about how the back doors to police cars
do not have door handles on the insides. It actually took me about 10 seconds to remember that, I was so engrossed with moving
the partition around to see where it would finally be mounted. And then I realized I was in a situation. Let’s all pause for a
moment to appreciate what I had just done. I’ll add here that I was home alone. And my phone was of course in the house. But
then I realized that I would be able to squeeze through the sliding window between the rear seat and the front seat! Yay! Problem
solved! And within a minute, I was back to work, and successfully finished the k9 cargo compartment. Whew, that was close.

Hit and run. In a, uh, a car wash. Customer #2, in real nice Cadillac sedan, got rear-ended by a crappy old Ford explorer when
Customer #1 in front of him put his Ford into reverse. Twice. In the middle of the the car wash. Smashing the grill of the Caddy.
Yes, while all the brushes were spinning and the soap was spraying. Ford driver fled the scene after exiting. Too bad for him the
car wash had a really nice Hi-Def camera system in there. When I found the Ford driver he insisted it was the car wash rollers
that had made his Ford go backwards into the Cadillac. But the surveillance cameras very clearly showed his reverse lights going
on both times when he hit the Cadillac twice. Hey people! Leave the gear shifter alone when you’re in a car wash!

The defendant in the courtroom was doing his best to debate the judge. He was with a constitutional militia organization, and
had decided he would not be beholden to silly laws, like the ones about drivers licenses required to operate motor vehicles on
state owned roadways. He was in court contesting the nice police officer’s authority to issue him tickets. The judge, having gone
to a few rodeos before this clown showed up, patiently shot down all of the man’s standard objections. Finally in desperation
the man pointed to the American flag in the court room. “Your honor, that flag has gold fringe on it. That means it is conferring
admiralty/maritime jurisdiction, which this court is not, therefore, this court is not valid to hear my case.” The whole thing was
kind of entertaining to watch. None of it worked for him; turns out the judge did indeed have all kinds of authority and
jurisdiction to hear the case and impose penalties. Fortunately I didn’t have to deal with too many of those morons. (Those
kinds of defendants, I mean – not the judges)