Page 103 - NIXBOOK

I caught a gal speeding. Her excuse: “I have to get this cheeseburger home to my boyfriend before it gets cold!”

I pulled over a lady for using her cell phone while driving. I walk up the car. Unlike just about every other driver I ever pulled
over for that, she’s still got the phone up to her ear when I get outside her car. She glances at me and holds up a finger, and says
curtly “I’m on hold,” and then she goes back to listening to her phone. I decided to remain calm and see what happens next,
because clearly this must have been a Very Important Call. So I silently counted, and at about the 40-second mark of me patiently
waiting, she finally finished her business on the phone and turned her attention to me.

Guy in a pickup truck liked driving around with bright red LED lights under his headlights. Totally illegal; cars can’t have red
lights in the front. The first two times I caught him I just verbally warned him and tried to educate him on the federal DOT
regulations concerning vehicle lighting. The third time I wrote him a ticket. Every time he complained bitterly that other people
were getting away with the same thing, so why was I picking on him? The third time I caught him he was just about apoplectic
and convinced I was stalking him. He took his ticket to court to complain to the judge. The judge reduced the penalty, clearly
not caring that I already given the guy a break twice, with two prior warnings.

I was at the post office on personal business, off duty and out of uniform. The postal clerk across the counter quietly thanked
me for being professional a month earlier when the Postmaster called 911 to have him escorted off the property because he was
starting to go postal, and I was the officer who showed up. Slightly awkward for me, uh, me both times.