Page 109 - NIXBOOK

Tom, the balding local transvestite (if it’s still okay to use that word?) had a flat tire on his/her van, and it was disabled in traffic.
I stopped to help her, “her” because he was his alter ego identity of “Sheila” that day complete with a tight sweater highlighting
his large bossom, and a large blond wig, and lipliner which would put the Cure’s Robert Smith to shame. My helping him/her
looked like me holding the hose from his bicycle tire pump onto the tire valve, while he pumped air into it, while in the traffic
lane. Do you know how long it takes to pump air into a deflated van tire with a bicycle pump? And the hose was only a foot and
half long, so I was in very close proximity to his/her size 12 woman’s shoe, (high heel of course) and he/she was breathing pretty
heavily almost into my ear, pumping the handle. And I have to note that because Tom/Sheila, being an avant-guard cross dresser
back in the days when it was quite eyebrow raising, looked almost exactly like 1980’s Dee Snyder from Twisted Sister, complete
with the oversize wig and eye makeup and very tight sweater highlighting giant gravity-deying breasts. Now I don’t care what
people look like, God bless em all, but I sure did feel uncomfortable with that whole scene. When the tire was maybe halfway
inflated I announced it was good to go and I then left. Too bad nobody took a photo of that scene; I’d glady share it here!

The woman sitting in the car with the smashed windshield who thought her boyfriend’s punching it in with his fist was “just
normal.” When I handed her a DV help brochure, she started crying, shocked. “I’m a domestic violence victim?!?”

I met a lot of different tow truck drivers over the years; several dozen, easily. We called them regularly to removed crashed cars
from the roads. Side note: as a general rule, the police didn’t ask dispatch for specific tow truck companies to respond; we just
took whichever one was next on the rotational list. So years and years ago, the owner of the biggest tow truck company in the
county split his business into several different tow truck companies; different names, different truck colors, and different
impound yards…but all still the same owner. So all the money went back into him in the end. Anyway, I knew this one tow truck
driver who was pretty friendly; he even got over the fact that I refused to shake his hand whenever I saw him, since he was
absolutely filthy every time I saw him. He did his job without gloves, and it showed. He looked like he maybe stepped into a
shower once, maybe twice a month. Oh who am I kidding, it was one per month. Anyway, he was super friendly so I gave him
one of our department challenge coins, not the metal ones but the full color porcelain ones. He liked it so much he carried it
with him in his pocket. Every. Single. Day. About a year later when he showed it to me, it was almost completely covered with
dirt and grime and all the white on it had turned to brown, so I took it from him and gave him a brand new one again, which
made him just as happy as the first one I gave him.