Page 83 - NIXBOOK

A very mentally ill woman wandered into town and found herself in a candle shop downtown on Front Street. She was doing
the usual crazy person crazy talk to the shop owner, and then she decided to help herself to some of the goods there. Specifically,
she went for a couple of the large scented candles that were burning. She dipped her hands into the hot wax and smeared it
onto her clothes. And her hair. And her face. I showed up, and after seeing all the dried wax on her clothes, her hair, and face,
determined that she was probably not right in the head. So I took her to the place where crazy people go. I gotta say though,
she was the best smelling client I had ever put in my back seat.

The toddler who unintentionally defenestrated himself and got an airlift to the hospital. His parents were just a mess. I think he
turned out okay though. Little kids are bouncy.

I get called out to (another) dead person scene. She was only fifty something years old but I could see from all the prescription
pill bottles everywhere that she had some significant health issues. (My all-time record was one decedent who had twenty-six
different prescriptions – when I lined them all up to take a picture even the responding deputy coroner was impressed) Anyway,
this dead woman had keeled over into the tub with the water going. Fortunately she was still clothed and the drain was open,
so there was no water overflowing out onto the floor and it was just the sound of the water going for about a day that caught
the attention of the neighbors in her apartment complex. I always wondered how much information the deputy coroner gave to
her next of kin. But I never cared enough to really ask. Did he tell them she had a heart attack and dropped dead, or did he go
into details, which in this case would have been: “It looks like she had a major diarrhea attack all over the bathroom floor and
then slipped in it and crashed down onto the tub while the water was going, in the process she grabbed for and ripped the towel
rack off the wall and also pulled the shower curtain down onto her, and we’re still trying to figure out how bad she hit her head
in the tub, and if she drowned face first in the tub or if the heart attack killed her before she got her head wet.” Sometimes I still
think about that one. I know she had wanted to donate her body to the University of Washington med school but when they
were called and found out she’d already been dead for half a day without any temperature control they politely declined her
offer; I guess they like their dead folks pretty fresh.