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Grocery store manager called 911 to report a very upset customer who couldn’t find coffeemate. Angry customer had left in a
huff, threatening to come back with a gun. I respond to the scene and I spent the next few hours stressing out about the
possibility the guy would actually return with a gun. Turns out he didn’t, but it still ruined what should have been a calm
Saturday shift for me, since I would have had to be the guy do something about it if he did come back with a gun.

25 year old young man posts a suicide note on Facebook, writes another one at home, leaves his car keys behind, and walks
away. Family, friends, and police go searching for him. The next morning I found him. In the back of an ambulance with a self-
inflicted gunshot wound in his head. He got airlifted to Harborview Hospital in Seattle. Lived. But no longer right in the head.

Pro Tip for you professional shoplifters out there: If you’re going to help yourself to expensive clothing in boutiques, don’t use
a large plastic handbag THAT IS MADE OF CLEAR PLASTIC to hide your merch. And if you do actually do that, don’t go back
an hour later to the same store you already shoplifted from; the clerks will SEE THE STUFF YOU HAD STOLEN FROM THEM.

On several occasions I was at the police station talking to a very upset citizen who had been complaining about their mortal
enemy – a neighbor or ex-spouse or whatever – and after sending them on their way, usually upstairs to the municipal court
clerks to go file a court order, their mortal enemy would walk in less than minute later to complain about *their* mortal enemy,
who was of course the person I had just been talking to. I’ll be always amazed we didn’t have more shootouts in our front lobby
from people at war with each other.