Page 241 - NIXBOOK

Old man is in his car, waiting at a red light, on a slight grade. His car starts creeping backward. He doesn’t notice because it’s so
slow. I notice, because he’s right in front of me and getting closer to the front of my patrol car. He rolls back several feet so
slowly that my concern level is about zero when his back bumper thumps into my front push bars, with just enough force to jolt
the old man out of whatever la la land he was in. At the same moment he realized he had gone backwards he looks in his rear
view mirror and sees he’s literally run into the front of a police car. I was in a good mood that day and didn’t even bother to pull
him over after the light turned green; seeing his wide eyes in the center rearview mirror was enough for me.

The smoking hot young lady I pulled over who looked like a young Christina Applegate in her prime; when she went into the
glovebox for her registration and insurance she did it by getting on her knees and leaning way over to the passenger side, in a
very unlady-like manner. She had really tight jeans on. I don’t know if she was young and innocent and naïve about her actions
or if she was trying to distract and impress me but it was one my most memorable traffic stops ever just ever; if you had been
there you’d agree.

Christmas day: 6:30 am. I’m on duty. Some old man calls 911 again to complain again about his apartment neighbor again, making
noise again. I call him. He wants to me to go to her apartment and tell her to be quiet. “She wakes me up at 1 am, she wakes me
up at 3 am, and she wakes me up at 5 am every morning! This has been going on for 8 years now! This morning at 5 am I could
hear her in the shower dropping her soap!”

A man is at the front counter of the police department. He had brought in his young son – the boy was only like 6 years old - to
get counseled for shoplifting. In our holding cell. I somewhat reluctantly obliged. The man was actually, uh, a tribal police chief
from a nearby Indian reservation police agency. I’m still not sure why he didn’t do it himself. And if he thought I’d never mention
this to anybody, he was wrong about that. Come on man, where is your pride?!?