Page 246 - NIXBOOK

Another time – we found out about this years later – Chief Voldemort was coming back from a county chief’s meeting. Our
deputy chief was riding with him and got a royal ass chewing, because deputy chief had committed the venial sin of piping up
during the meeting and saying something intelligent. As told by the deputy chief later, the A-Hole Chief suddenly turned on
him in the car. With his face all red and mad, he pointed his finger at him and yelled “Don’t you EVER upstage me like that
again in a meeting with all the other police chiefs!”

A middle-aged upper-class woman with plenty of money to pay for things got caught stealing stuff from a grocery store. I got
called to take a report, and after I finished my interview with her I asked her how she got to the store. She told me that she drove
there. I asked where her car was. She told me and I went and found it in the parking lot…with lots of other stolen merchandise
from other stores in there. I knew it was stolen because none of it was in shopping bags. Upon further questioning she admitted
to me that that yep, she had been bored that day and had stolen from multiple stores. I felt rather pleased with myself for
checking out her car and finding more incriminating evidence in there.

One day I’m out on patrol and I see a guy walking a dog along a sidewalk, but the dog is like 100 feet in front of the guy, and
there is obviously no leash involved. I give a disapproving look. The guy explains “It’s not my dog, it got loose from somewhere
and I’m trying to catch it.” Oh, okay, I thought. I’ll help too. The guy gets close enough to the dog and then he suddenly barks
out “SIT!” – the guy yelled that, not the dog – and the dog immediately sat down. The guy was then able to walk up to it and clip
a leash onto it. I was stunned. “Oh snap that was cool as hell!” I thought. I realized that of all the stray dogs I had ever tried to
catch, it had never once even occurred to me to see if any of them would respond to a voice command of “SIT!” So that’s still
on my bucket list; I really want to do this myself someday. Every dog I ever tried to catch usually just took the treats I threw
them, ignored my sweet talk, and then ran away again.