Page 244 - NIXBOOK

Me, working traffic. Parked by the side of the road in a parking lot, waiting for something interesting to come along. Aw crap
here comes that crazy old man walking up to me. He’s tall, got one eye staring off in a weird direction, got his scraggly hair in a
pony tail, looks like Mic Fleetwood’s crazy brother, if he were to have one. He approaches my car and starts his rant: “Don’t
donate organs to the hospital when you die! They will charge your survivors ten thousand dollars for each organ and they will
get stuck with a giant bill for over One! Hundred! Thousand! Dollars! and the hospital will always take…” The third time he
approached me instead of quietly listening I decided to talk over him and try to set him straight. Nope, didn’t work. He had an
Important Announcement and he kept forgetting he had already proselytized to me. So after that whenever I saw him out
walking around and he looked like he wanted to walk up to my car, I’d drive off.

Police department interview room: Guy sitting across from us is trying to explain how he was showing pictures on the computer
to his wife and one of them turned out to be a porn video that he immediately turned off but she was convinced it was a secret
recording of her young daughter in the bathroom. He insisted it was not, but then couldn’t prove it otherwise because oops
darnit had had just accidently deleted the video. So mom freaked out, kicked out her husband, and called the police. Guy came
in for an interview. He insisted to us it was just a porn video he had downloaded and it was not his stepdaughter at all. No way.
The fact that he had 7 video cameras set up in the house “to keep an eye on his old aunt” did not ease our suspicions. The fact
that he had “accidentally” deleted the video instead of showing his wife to prove it was not his stepdaughter also did not help
his case at all. Immediately after that he quit his job and his wife divorced him.

Back in the old days when way more people smoked cigarettes, it was not uncommon for drivers to finish their smokes and toss
them out the window. That was frowned upon. Illegal! Nothing made my blood boil more than that! When I caught jerks
nonchalantly flicking or dropping half-smoked cigarette butts out their cars, I’d pull them over and the ass-chewing would
commence. I’d give them a choice though when it came time for the punishment – instead of a very expensive ticket, I would
consider the matter closed if they would go just back and kindly pick up their cigarette. With varying degrees of reluctance and
griping, they’d all choose to retrieve their trash instead of getting a ticket. So I would gladly walk out into the road and hold up