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Woman calls 911 because her seriously overweight dog has gone down in a park and she can’t get him back up on his feet. I arrive
and meet Spud the Rottweiler, who weighed in at over 180 pounds. Probably because he ate nothing by french fries and tater
tots. The only way to move that dog was to have the fire department show up with a special people-mover tarp thing, which is
reinforced with enough straps to move an immobile human at several hundred pounds over normal. We picked up Spud, rolled
him into her car, and sent her off to the vet so Spud could go to the rainbow bridge.

60-something year old woman died in her house. She had been suffering from cancer and chemo treatments and it was the taco
salad that her husband had just brought home that did her in; a couple bites into it and she suddenly dropped dead in the living
room. Husband and sister are in the living room consoling each other, crying, and I’m in the kitchen with the paramedics,
wondering from where exactly the taco salad bowl had come from, so I know which one to never buy for me or my wife.

One thing I’ve learned in police work (well…I’ve learned a few things..) is that when you find a fire hydrant broken off and
destroyed, or a lamp post crashed down, the suspect vehicle will usually be just a block or two away with extensive and disabling
front-end damage. Sometimes on fire, too.