Page 184 - NIXBOOK

I got called to mitigate a domestic dispute. The married couple, both deaf, were dog breeders. Being deaf, they were oblivious
to the non-stop barking that their packs of terriers were committing upon the neighborhood. Worst neighbors to ever have:
Deaf. Dog. Breeders. Right up there with the Professional Chain Saw Carving Guy.

The homeowner who was mad that the police were going to tow his broken-down blighted piece of junk car out of his driveway.
Given 10 days to comply with the law, he found a loophole and erected a large blue tarp canopy frame over it, complete with
blue tarp sides. He pointed out that his car was now in a “building” and therefore legal. The city prosecutor had to research the
definition of a “building” and concluded that the owner was yes, actually in compliance. Of course that didn’t make the neighbors
happy at all; his driveway now looked worse. The really funny thing was, he could have saved a couple hundred dollars by just
putting air in the tires and paying a neighbor kid or somebody to wash the algae and dirt off of the car, but instead he went for
the blue tarp look. Well he showed us.

Me, investigating a death scene in an apartment. Nothing too suspicious; the decedent had been in poor health and was a lifelong
heavy smoker. Exhibit A in the bedroom: the dead body. Exhibit B out on balcony: a giant concrete bird bath that had been
repurposed as an ashtray. It was overflowing with a giant mound of literally hundreds and hundreds of used cigarette butts.