Page 181 - NIXBOOK

I crowned myself the police department Hide and Seek Champion when I found three criminals trying to hide from me – three
different cases in one two-week period. First was the guy in the closet, then a gal hiding in a car, and then a guy hiding in the
woods. I told all my coworkers that if we were going to start an intramural hide and seek tournament, I’d be the captain of one
of the teams.

Marital discord at a city council member’s house. The wife had filed a restraining order against her abusive husband. A couple
days later he needed to get back into his house to pick up his medications, so I escorted him back there. I stupidly waited
downstairs while he ran upstairs to get his pills; I figured as long as he came back within about 30 seconds holding only a couple
pill bottles and not a lock box or a tv or her suitcase, it would be fine and I could respect his privacy. 20 seconds later all hell
broke loose, because unknown to both of us the wife person was home. In the bedroom. In the bed. With her new boyfriend.
That led to a lot of sudden loud yelling. Very awkward. Husband and I had of course thought the house was empty.

That was not the only time I’d surprised people in bed like that. Unintentionally, of course. Also related to the above story, some
time after that incident some public works guys called me. They had been cleaning out the storm drains and had recovered a
massive keychain with about 30 keys on it. It had been in the bottom of the storm drain a few months, at least, and was pretty
slimy green and funky. An ID tag on it identified it as belonging to the council member, a block away. I brought it back to her.
She stared at it for awhile and mentioned that it had mysteriously disappeared from the house a few months ago. She didn’t say
that her husband had gotten mad and dumped them. She didn’t need to.

The 30 year old woman who fell asleep while driving on the highway at 60 mph. Somehow her moving car found a small car-
sized gap in the cable barrier designed to stop cars from going into the other oncoming traffic lanes. Threading the needle at 60
mph and still sound asleep, her car went almost a quarter mile in the ditch on the inside median of the oncoming traffic on the
wrong side of the highway before finally slowing to a stop. Perplexing all the first responders who could only see an intact cable
barrier and yet her car facing the wrong way, on the wrong side of the highway. Injuries to self and others: none. Miraculous.