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81 year old woman called 911 about once a week to report “they” were sneaking into her house and taking her linens and her
food. I called her back every time and tried to convince her she was not right in the head. I was never successful. “Can they carry
some kind of a gadget to make themselves disappear?” she asked me one time. Followed immediately by “I’m not crazy.”

Lady calls 911. She had been in a minor traffic accident. Exchanged information with the other driver. His version of exchanging
information was writing down his name and phone number on a scrap of paper and then leaving. It didn’t occur to her to insist
on looking at his, I dunno, maybe drivers license? Which was unfortunate because the name and number he scrawled down was
completely fictitious. And she didn’t bother to write down his license plate number either. Or take pictures of anything.
Sigh..that was unfortunately not the first time I had seem that happen to somebody.

The time I was quietly joking with another officer about a drunk woman -uh…a former (and disgraced) alcoholic police officer
who had been my sergeant even - who was completely passed out on her front porch in her bathrobe, headfirst down the steps.
I thought she was dead, she looked so bad. But she was still breathing, so I called for an aid unit and while we were waiting the
passed out drunk woman suddenly rose up, pointed her finger and yelled “I heard everything you two just said about me!” I got
out my notepad and furiously scribbled “note to self….sometimes people who are passed out can hear what you say..!”

Senior citizen trailer park: sweet old grandma has called 911 again because her husband was well on his way to completely losing
his mind. He’s turned into quite the crochety old man and is delusional. I go into the house to try to talk to him while he’s sitting
in his easy chair. He pointed accusingly at his wife of 60+ years. “That whore there is sneaking out giving blowjobs to all the
other men in this trailer park every day!” Poor grandma looked just mortified. I told her and her adult daughter that the first
thing they should do was safeguard her bank accounts, before grandpa got any crazy ideas about spending it all. They
wholeheartedly agreed that was some good advice. That call was kind of a hard one to deal with.