Page 97 - NIXBOOK

The driver who had an actual real metal license plate issued from…The Kingdom of Heaven. Totally not legit. Also his drivers
license was issued by the Kingdom of Heaven. Also not legit. I’m still mad at myself that I didn’t note the expiration date on his
drivers license. That’s probably an important date to be aware of, seeing how it was issued from the Kingdom of Heaven. When
I had asked him for his proof of insurance he quoted me some psalm. Which did not constitute legal proof of insurance. I issued
him a whole bunch of tickets. Oh and I took those license plates off his car, too.

High school kid got a really vague trolling text on his phone from a classmate playfully messing with him, asking him to pick a
number or else. Kid freaks out, thinks a shooter is going to take him or his friends out. His mother immediately pulls him out
of class, picks him up from school and brings him to the PD for a police investigation. “Uh, you know there’s a school resource
officer stationed at your school right now, right?” I offered. Mother is horrified and replies “We don’t my son to be seen talking
to the police there! His life is in danger right now!”

Me, finding the source of smoke in the woods. A campfire, with a homeless guy cooking a pot of food on it. A couple of firefighters
are with me. “We don’t give a shit if he has a fire out here” they said. Because it was still winter and there was no threat of fire
spreading. “Well I give a shit, it’s illegal as hell!” I told them, so at my direction they extinguished the fire while the guy still had
his pot of beans over it. (hm…it sounds bad now that I re-read this but that guy DID deserve it, he was a real troublemaking kind
of guy.. constantly getting arrested – trust me on this one.)

I pulled over a little blue a car for speeding, not because it had huge TRUMP lettering on the sides. As I was talking to the driver
about her speeding, I saw she had a baseball bat in the passenger seat. I didn’t ask but I knew it was because the TRUMP lettering,
in bright white san serif font, was about 18” high and 7 feet long and it was, well, pretty obnoxious. I also saw more than a very
few deep scratches along the sides of the car; the driver had added some extra lettering and arrows pointing to the damage that
read “liberals who hate Trump”. I wanted to tell the driver that if she felt like she needed to carry a baseball bat around because
of the billboards on the sides of her car, then she was just making her life way harder than it needed to be. But like I said, I had
pulled her over for speeding and I felt it would have been inappropriate to start talking politics.