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An ex-con, freshly done with his 6 years in prison, moved into his sister’s place with her fiance and her two daughters. After
about a month it was not working out so she gave him the boot. A month later the ex-con came back and busted down a door
to get in. Sister’s fiance was having none of that and he successfully fought off the perp, who then fled. The neighbors called
911 to report the ruckus and I showed up. Sister was upset at her stupid brother for causing a scene. I asked why her brother
had gone to prison. “To be honest, I don’t really know,” she told me. I refused that answer and kept pressing. “Well, I think it
was some kind of conspiracy charge,” she added. Like a determined dentist pulling stubborn teeth, I kept at it and she ended
with “I really don’t know, Officer. I think it had something to do with the cartels.”

Guy reported a theft of $2,100 dollars. From his bedroom. During the night. Told me the suspect could not have been any of
the other 7 guys living in the boarding house. Could have been one of the dozen or so other guys who had lived and moved out
of there in the previous few years, though. I pointed out that maybe keeping his money in a small safe on his desk, clearly
visible from the main living room might not have ben the wisest idea. And if you’re going display a small safe on your desk..at
least, I dunno, bolt it down?

Another story about the police chief we had for five years; the one all the cops hated. He was the kind of guy who would walk
into a room, ask “How goes the battle?” in a friendly “hey how are all you guys doing?” way, but he didn’t care about us in the
slightest, as evidenced by the same result whenever anybody actually responded with something – he would leave the room
while somebody was telling him about their day, or weekend, or what was going on. If he was really on top of his game he’d
throw out a placating “good to hear” on his way out but it was clear he hadn’t heard a word anybody said. Usually, he just said
“how goes the battle” without even stopping as he walked by. It actually got to be kind of funny, really. If you need a visual on
what a psychopathic police chief looks like, ours looked like John Schnatter, the founder of the Papa Murphy’s pizza business.