Page 200 - NIXBOOK

Me, in a house, lecturing the grown man with brain damage from an old motorcycle accident, that inviting an 11 year neighbor
boy into his room to look at his old trophy collection is just not cool. His uptight super religious old mother glared at me. “You
know what the biggest problem is in this world today?” She asked. I said “uh..” and before I could offer any guesses she and her
brain damaged son yelled at me in unison: “SATAN!”

One night I caught a drunk driver. I brought him back to the police station and processed him, which included a very lengthy
form with a million questions. After I got all done with everything and released the guy to his wife to take him home, I realized
that I could not find the form. Which I had left with him unattended for a few minutes at one point... The other officer on duty
went to the guy’s house and found the form on his living room table, and brought it back to me. If that guy were to be charged
with stealing my paperwork, I think the most appropriate citation would have been “Obstructing a Law enforcement Officer.”
Boy was I relieved to get it back, and that guy was pretty stupid for not just burning into ashes the second he got home. Or at
least throw it in the trash. We gave him a break though and didn’t add the extra charge for stealing the police forms.

A woman caught her neighbor’s Great Dane outside the fence out in the street, so she helpfully grabbed the dog and brought it
back. The other dog still in the yard noticed how the escaped dog was brought back, tail between his legs. Other dog, a pitbull,
decided the woman should be punished for making the first dog feel bad. So with her ankle, the mauling started. Another
neighbor was able to fight off the pitbull and an ambulance was called. I stepped out of the ambulance after seeing enough of a
very-chewed-up bloody ankle and the owner of the two dogs then came home. Owner asked what was going on. I pointed to
the mass of blood on the ground just inside her gate. “Your pitbull just attacked one of your neighbors.” Owner said “Oh.” And
then she walked into her house, nbd, whatevs.

I pulled over a guy with a really weird looking license plate. Turns out it was on backwards. Not upside down..it was mounted
backwards. Face-in. Bare metal backside facing out. Because the owner was making a statement against the government,
protesting paying for expensive license plates fees, so he intentionally put the new plate on the front of his pickup truck…back
side out. I figured I would help make his protest statement even more powerful by giving him a big ticket, of course. I still smile
when I think about how he undoubtedly complained to his family and friends about that and what their reactions must have
been: “No way! The cop gave you ticket for that?!?”