Page 199 - NIXBOOK

Yep, here are some for-reals suicide notes left behind:

A nursing home health care working coming in to work at 3 am spots a prowler on the flat roof of a nearby strip mall of
businesses; she calls 911 and I respond. The back of the building is built into a slope and it is possible to step up onto the roof,
from the back. So there I am poking around on the roof, no prowler in sight but I do find a vent cover that has been removed
and set aside, revealing an access hole down into one of the businesses below. The hole is not even 18” across, but room enough
I guess for a skinny dude to slide down in there. And then I completely blow it – I literally yell out to the other officer on the
other part of the roof “HEY CHECK THIS OUT I THINK THE GUY WENT DOWN THIS HOLE HERE!” (I had only been a cop
for a couple years at that point so I was still kind of new is my excuse..) At that moment, I think the prowler (burglar, actually)
had been carrying the safe from the insurance company toward the front door. I say that because we found the safe in the middle
of the office on the floor. The other officer came over to the open vent in and just like me, was stupid about it and started aiming
his flashlight down in there, which totally alerted the burglar. I walked over to the front part of the roof to peer down and try to
see which business we were standing over. At that moment the burglar decided to leave the scene; the front door burst open
directly underneath me and he ran straight out. I briefly considered jumping after him but I was about 11 feet off the ground so
that would have been dumb. I stayed where I was and like a forward air controller, I vectored in the other incoming police units
to set up a containment and corral the guy, who had run toward the nursing home. But he got away; we never found him. I later
went into the business below and saw that he had dropped down through the shaft onto a file cabinet, and put one foot down
right onto a blank sheet of paper. It had been a slightly misty foggy morning so his shoe had been a little wet, and grimy from
the roof, and it could not have left a better footprint on the paper. It was just beautiful. Later one of the other officers said “I
dunno, I just can’t believe that guy got away. We set up a perimeter really fast. I think he’s still hunkered down around here
somewhere.” I was skeptical. “The K9 worked the shit out of this area and cleared it – the guy is long gone.” The other officer
was not convinced. “I’m gonna go poke around, anyway.” About two minutes later on the radio: “I got him hiding in the bushes
here; he’s not getting away this time I got him at gunpoint!” The burglar was taken into custody and I took his shoes off to
compare to my shoeprint on the paper. Perfect match. Case closed. He was charged, convicted, and sentenced to a whole 7
months in jail. Even though he had an established criminal history of similar offenses in another county..only 7 months. In fact
he already had the moniker of “The Rooftop Burglar.” Actually he only did 5 months in lock up- he got two months off for good
behavior. Then he went right back to his old ways and burglarized some more businesses. (And yes, the police tracking dog on
duty that night certainly did screw up that track; the dog actually went right past the guy a couple times, only a few feet away
but never homed in on him.) Anyway, 5 months in jail.