Page 175 - NIXBOOK

I pulled over a car for a seatbelt violation. Gave the driver a warning only; no ticket. He then gratefully offered me a fresh Krispy
Crème donut; he had a whole box of them. No, I didn’t accept it, that would have been wrong. Like, yeah..really wrong.

We had caught a burglar. Heroin addict, of course. I took him to jail. He didn’t want to go to jail but he was already in cuffs so
his options were pretty limited. So halfway to the jail he faked a seizure in the back seat, and forced me to call for an ambulance
to divert him to the hospital emergency room. After awhile when it became clear to him that the doctors weren’t buying his act
either and he’d have to continue along to the jail, he borrowed a phone and while alone in an exam room, he called 911 to report
there was a bomb at the hospital. Too bad for him the call was easily traced to the, uh, phone he had borrowed. Oh and the
surveillance cameras in the room also caught it all on video, despite his denials. And the 911 call was recorded at the 911 call
center too, with his dumb voice. So when he went to jail he had a couple extra (and very serious) additional felony charges.
Apparently you can get in a lot of trouble for calling in a bomb threat to a hospital; something about “Interfering with Hospital
Operations..”

Here’s a story that is not mine – I got this gem from a Bremerton cop: He told me that he and his partner were checking out a
suspicious car in a dark alley one night. Movement in the car. Cop and his partner close in, light it up with their flashlights.
What do they see in there? One guy. Alone. Naked. Uh, raping himself at knifepoint. You know, as one does.

Nursing home director reported a 92 year old resident had been kissing and groping elderly female residents. The old man had
already been removed from the facility by his family, so the case was already closed. The director offered me the opportunity to
go talk to the 88 year woman who had agreed initially to a hug from the old guy but in the process got one of her boobs grabbed
by the old man. I politely declined; it wasn’t a prosecutable case and so at that point I just really wanted to leave the building
and not think about old men grabbing old women’s boobs.