Page 301 - NIXBOOK

I was driving down a hilly back country road and as I came over a hillcrest I saw a car coming toward me, and out the passenger
window goes flying a full trash bag. I stopped the driver and recovered the bag; it had about a dozen cool-whip cans, mostly
empty. The driver explained he had let his teenage kids use the car, and clearly they had been snorting the nitrous from the cans
for a cheap high, and he was pissed about all the cans left over in his car so in a brief rage he threw it out the window,
unfortunately for him right when I was watching him. His occupation: “Flight Director, SeaTac Airport.” When I asked him how
often he littered like that, he said “Almost never.”

Office prank time: The classic one for me was to rig an officer’s personnel mailbox with a contraption that would spill out paper
hole punches when extracted from the mail slot. Sometimes the officers would see one of my suspiciously-folded paper folders
or small boxes and not fall for it; other times they’d pull it out, and the box or folder with no bottom would spill out a large
quantity of punched-out holes all over the counter, the floor, and their feet. My favorite one was when one of the detectives fell
for it and yelled out “FUCKING NICK!” even before the falling hole punches hit the floor.

Another good one was the time I got a very small electronic audio bug/noisemaker and hid it in one of the officer’s brand new
cars. It made random chirping noises, between long intervals of silence. It was discovered pretty quickly though. Then that
officer hid it in a sergeant’s cubicle. Sergeant was not amused at all. In fact he issued a scathing memorandum, ordering that no
noisemaking audio devices were to ever be hidden in the office ever again. He really lost his shit over that one. The whole “no
more ever” decree was a pretty extreme -and disappointing - overreaction.