Page 290 - NIXBOOK

Me, at a traffic stop: “Sir, your rear license plate is severely faded and worn out. You have to get a new one.” Very Indignant
Driver: “And I suppose I have to pay for that myself?!?”

Twice in one day I got dispatched to respond with aid crews to distraught, possibly suicidal old people. (The fire department
protocol is to get the police involved if there is the slightest chance of danger.) Both times, my presence at the scene did nothing
to calm down our clients. “Oh this is just great now the police are here whattya gonna do arrest me for being a nutcase?!?

We had a guy in town who was homeless; an old army vet. He walked around a lot and it was clear he had been a professional
marcher; walking around with a backpack on was definitely his specialty. He was quiet and never bothered anybody, and even
took regular showers at the parks and rec building. So we – the officers – didn’t care that he made a little homestead in the
woods. One day he stopped showing up in public. Because he had died in his little hut he had made. It was quite an impressive
campsite: kept very clean and orderly, even the ground had been swept. His hut was a pretty solid construction, made with 2x4
studs and plywood, and he had even painted it all a nice dark forest green to blend in. How often did the police mess with him
in any way? None. None times. Because he kept to himself and never bothered anybody at all. We were actually kind of bummed
when he died. He was only like 60-something years old.

Me, talking to an old Vietnam war vet who had PTSD. He explained that sometimes he’d be walking down the street and catch
a glimpse of himself in storefront mirrors and literally not recognize himself as an old man; frequently he was stuck in 1970 when
he was 19 years old. He also had a tamed wolf that I enjoyed meeting. The wolf was calm and quite overweight, which I suppose
was a good thing - one probably wouldn’t want a hungry wolf in one’s house. He said the wolf was pretty chill, except when it
saw a coyote out in the yard. Or when it noticed that the moon was full.