Page 152 - NIXBOOK

A citizen walked up to me while I was parked near an intersection, watching for traffic violations. “Officer, I have a big problem
with that stop sign over there,” he said, pointing to the red stop sign across the street. “It has a square Do Not Enter sign mounted
on the post on the back side of it, and so now it looks like a big square, and not the regulation 8 sided stop sign it’s supposed to
be.” I looked at him blankly, but with eyebrows raised, wondering if he was serious. “It’s not DOT compliant! That’s a federal
law!” Oh dear, he was serious. I directed him to go march on city hall and complain to the traffic engineering department;
perhaps somebody there might care.

Me, confronting an old man in an old-folks’ home. He tried to shoo me away with his cane but I was there on very official
business and I had to talk to the old guy about him criminally harassing his neighbors. When he put his cane up in front of him
I grabbed onto it and found he was a very surprisingly strong old guy and we spent a very long moment locked in a struggle with
the cane between us; we each had both of our hands on it. The whole time I kept thinking I could end it all effectively with a
simple foot sweep, but it would have probably broken his pelvis and clavicle and back and ribs so that was out of the question.

Two neighbors were mad at each other. One of them won’t return the balls over the fence that the neighbor kids keep
accidentally lobbing over. The police are called. That’s me. Because the balls aren’t being thrown back over the fence. The guy
who is the ball owner says “Oh you know what, I think I know what the problem is. That gal,” he said - pointing to the neighbors
house – “..her husband is in the Navy. Poor guy is always gone on deployments. Recently when he came back home I took him
aside and told him that since I was a navy guy myself once, he might appreciate knowing about how when he’s gone, his wife is
entertaining other guys a lot at her house.” Me, staring at the dude, trying not to look aghast. “I guess he had a talk with his wife
and now she’s pissed at me.”