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Guy goes into Home Depot empty handed. Takes a couple items off the shelves and goes straight to the return counter and
returns them without a receipt. Because he didn’t buy them. Home Depot helpfully gave him a refund for $400, on a gift card.
Which the guy then resold to a pawn shop. The pawn shop was required to log all bought and sold items into a database that
the police had access to. I was stunned to see all the entries they had from that guy; dozens of Home Depot gift cards. “At what
point do the pawn shop employees start to question the legitimacy of this guy and his never ending supply of gift cards!?!?” I
aksed our department detective. The detective pointed out “The pawn shop guys don’t ever ask questions – they just take
whatever they can, to sell for a profit.” Yeah, turns out they were actually totally in on it; it was a big crime ring thing.

I’m on patrol in my car, stopped in traffic. I see the car in front of me has a radar detector front and center on the dashboard,
and it’s on, with a little green light. I reach over and power up my radar system and turn on the transmitter. I’m instantly
rewarded by seeing the guy’s detector light up like a little Christmas tree with all kinds of red lights, and the driver suddenly
looks up and all around, but not behind him. I turn off my radar and the little red lights go off. A moment later, I hit it again
and his detector activates again, probably with audible warnings too. He looks around again, but still neglects to check his
rearview mirror. I turn my antenna off, wait a few seconds..then turn it on again. Driver finally reached over and unplugged his
detector in frustration. How many times did I do something like over the years? Yeah…a lot.

Strange man existing on a solid diet of prescription pills is causing problems again and I’m in his apartment; his room mate has
died under rather suspicious circumstances, so a detective is called in to investigate. While I was there I was kind of distracted
with they guys’ unique DIY car litterbox set-up: it was a large cardboard box about 2 feet tall. He had poured cat litter into it,
and as the cat fouled it up the guy simply added more litter on top. When I was there, the box was almost competely full, because
the guy never bothered to empty it. It probably weighed about 8o pounds at that point.

Public Safety Announcement: If you’re doing your laundry in a public laundromat and you’re really drunk, be careful to not put
your clothes into a washing machine already loaded with somebody else’s clothes. Also, if you’re not drunk, but still doing your
laundry in the public laundromat, if you leave for an hour or so, somebody who is drunk may put their clothes into your washing
machine. Then the drunk person may go outside and pass out and her boyfriend will transfer the cleaned clothes from the
washer to the dryer and get all defensive when you notice he’s folding his and your clothes from the dryer, and then the police
get called and Officer Hoke arrives and sighs and has to suggest to everybody that they sort out their clothes out like adults.